Monday, October 29, 2012

Hello, again

Hello, all.  How have you been?  I missed you!  I have been very busy.  I will post some pictures later in the week.

Just wanted to say, I did draw for the Dr. Seuss giveaway and Deanna won!  If I don't hear from her by the end of the week I will draw again.

Thanks for all the nice comments.

This next part borders on potty humor.  So, stop if you have delicate sensibilities.

Still reading?  Okay, I am having a colonoscopy in about four hours.  If you have had one you know what I have been doing for the past day and a half.  If you have not, let me just say they want that thing EMPTY and washed clean before they go in.

People get disturbed by colonoscopies.  I tell you, it is no big deal.  I never remember anything about it.  The prep - that is another story.  This is my fifth one.  My dad has had colon cancer twice.  I had a problem in my mid 30s that prompted my first.  No cancer, but polyps.  Every time they find them I have to come back in three years.  Then, I had to complicate it by developing uterine sarcoma.  Doctors are REAL interested in what happens inside of me.  Seems someone is always scanning or probing me.  But, I digress.

It is amazing to me that my caller ID says my phone had not rung since Thursday until I started this prep.  All I have to do to get phone calls is take up residence in my bathroom. Last night at 7:00 p.m. I got called and asked to come to work.  It is a 30 minute drive.  At that point I couldn't even make the drive let alone work. Could I come in for just a little while?  Umm...NO!

Ten minutes ago I had just walked out of my current private lodging and the phone rang.  The dentist office had cancellations and would I come in today?  Ummm....NO!

Apparently, ingesting the equivalent of a month's worth of laxatives in 6 hours is what it takes to make my presence desirable.  I have been told I am full of s@#% on more than one occasion and this may prove it.

I really think I am at the point I would just prefer I go in, they knock me out and everyone do every test and exam they need to while I am there.  Then, I can wake up, EAT, and be done for 6 months or so.   I get really focused on getting to eat as soon as possible when this is done.  My husband says I am embarrassing and grumpy.  We negotiated food last night but I am changing my mind already.  When I got out of bed this morning I had lost 7lbs since yesterday morning.  Considering I am in my "ideal" weight range - okay, at the top of it but I am in it! - that is a considerable amount of weight.  No wonder I am hungry!

I also detest Gatorade.  I swear I won't drink it again until the next colonoscopy.  Cross your fingers that this one is clean and I get to go 5 years.  Then I would be in my 50s like normal people.

Back to my oasis.


p.s.  I grew up without indoor plumbing.  It is and always has been my favorite modern convenience.  In the past 24 hours I have thanked God multiple times for the gift of a heated bathroom with modern plumbing.  I love my porcelain!